One of the biggest differences between the way I feel about being separated from my husband this time and all the others, is my heart is not heavy. I have not felt a tugging at my heart to see him, or talk to him. Of course I have thought of him, but not with the idea of being with him again.
My husband is in spiritual warfare. Only God can help him. Understanding and accepting this has freed me beyond measure. I completely accept God no longer needs me in my husband's life. He is ready to take him on alone and I am the better for it.
As I have said before, I would have never let go of the relationship. I would have been there for him as long as he allowed me to. His hate for me has completely taken over his mind. I don't think he knows how much he hates me. Maybe he does and he has been waiting for me to figure it out. I got it now.
Yes, it is over between us and I am so thankful I got out before my 50th birthday. I will go into the next phase of my life completely free of his bullshit. I'll be able to do what I need to do for me and me alone. Yes, it is over and thank God I'm good.
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