There was a time in my marriage I had a problem apologizing. It was because of false pride and once I worked on that, I was able to accept when I was wrong.
My husband can barely talk to me. He really is projecting his guilt on me and he can't handle that I am unwilling to talk about it period.
The whole thing got started because I asked him to find a better way to talk to me. I was laying down in the bed, my tone was appropriate, as a matter of fact, my voice was so low, he asked me to repeat what I said. When I did, he blew up. That was enough for me, but it just went into the Twilight Zone after that.
He has been steeped in denial for all of the time I have known him. When I sit and think back, the best I can describe our marriage is Judge Judy meets Ike Turner. Wow, what patience and tenacity on my part, but the majority of it was due to faith. I knew there was something great that would come out of my going through what I created, instead of running when it became more than obvious, I was trying to do the right thing with the wrong man.
He knows he is wrong. He just can't face how wrong he is, because I am the only other person involved, I am blamed for his lack of manhood, inability to control his temper, his mean spirit and vindictive heart. I won't play. He needs to get some help. Until I refuse to apologize.
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