Not Looking Back

I will always love my husband, but I am content with us being apart. We gave our all and it wasn't enough. There is nothing left for me to do in the relationship. He was not receptive to what I was offering for 26 years, I doubt if he is any more willing today.

I feel extremely blessed to have been able to rear my children in a way that has afforded them compassion, kindness and caring. They are there for their father and I am so very grateful. I do not have to do a thing, but keep my mouth shut. Anyone who really knows me, knows that's a full-time job alone.

I am not looking back. Although we are still married, I am ready to begin dating, or whatever I want to call it. I am done.

The Spectator

I've never be a conformist, even when I was; I did it my way. I must say I've completely succeeded in topping my own expectations of compassion, understanding and empathy. My husband is reaping what he has sewn in so many ways.

Yesterday brought with it the realization that "it ain't over," and maybe won't be until somebody is in jail, or hurt. Even with the seriousness of the situation, I feel no fear. I know God has my back.

My husband is in such a bad way. He went outside today and literally fell in my arms twice. I had to escort him into the house, where he has been for a solid weak. He very well may have waited too late. He may have denied himself directly into his grave. We will see.

At this point, I am like a spectator, I watching and waiting for the change to come.