Giving Up

During a conversation about my not giving up, I asked my husband, "Why would I give up?" He said, "Because people get tired." I told him, "That's when you pray to God for strength. You don't give up."

This has always been the way I've lived my life. Many of my friends feel I should give up on my marriage and my job. Both of them are highly stressful, abusive in some ways, and causes a lot of conflict. None of which seems to bother me as much as it does others.

I have come to accept I understand spiritual principles on a level many others struggle with. Many people understand forgiveness, unconditional love, charity, peacemaking and reconciliation on a theoretical level, but are not able to apply these principles to their lives. They find it hard to forgive, to love unconditionally, to give without looking for something in return, to seek peaceful solutions that can facilitate win/win outcomes for all, or to truly reconcile their differences with themselves and others.

I, on the other hand, have since I can remember sought to learn how to become more able to love. I always loved the feeling I get when people are in harmony. That is why I love going to concerts. Those are some of the few times that people really get along, having a good time singing and laughing. Music truly is a great equalizer. Yet, outside of the concert experience, I rarely experience harmony with others. Folk are so mesmerized by the lives of others, or their own personal agendas, that they are incapable of recognizing out of touch with their spiritual needs.

I've never been willing to give up on me. When I was younger and felt discouraged or disappointed, I prayed for God to guide me. I did have a period of time when I thought I wanted to kill myself. I thought I didn't have a purpose, but that didn't last long. By the time I got into my 20's, I had a plan for my life and at no time did it include, giving up.