Why I Do Not Recognize Myself

"Every since I've given up sin, Hallelujah, been born again."

I am truly no longer a glutton. It has been eight years. I have learned portion control. I am taking my time and that has made it seem more effortless. I do not weigh myself. I do not obsess about my looks at all. As a matter of fact, one of the major reasons I don't recognize myself is I actually love me. I think I am beautiful. I am putting me first.

I am so ready to continue to shock myself. I plan to keep myself guessing, but most of all continue to pray for God's will. That habit has served me well.

I do not recognize myself at times because my eyes don't cry no more. I have absolutely no fear. I love my enemies. I am much more tolerant of stupid people. I do not think about food 24/7. I am looking forward to traveling more. I want to grow in love with a man other than the one I married. I am ready for whatever!

Gluttony All Gone

I feel pretty secure when I say I am no longer in danger of overeating. I have not gained weight in over seven years and it truly has been the Spirit of God that has changed my ways. Learning to love myself was the key.

As long as I harbored any ill will towards myself, I was unable to successfully combat gluttony. Once I surrendered to God's will and accepted my worthiness, my life changed. Today, I am more than a conqueror. I have learned to deny my flesh and have been rewarded by not overindulging in food.

Gluttony all gone!

My Relationship With God

Back in 2003, God asked me to allow myself to remain in a humiliating marriage. It was right after my husband had done one of the most horrible things that involved my son. I was heartbroken. It wasn't long after that I became aware he was having an affair.

When I discovered the affair, my husband said, "So, I guess you are going to divorce me?" i immediately thought to myself, 'Yes,' but my mouth said no. My God voice told me to say no. God put it on my heart to stay in the marriage and make an effort to reconcile with my husband. I couldn't believe it. I was literally upset, but I could not say no because I believed with all my heart and soul it was God who was guiding my towards rejuvenating my marriage.

I have been blessed to have been aware of God as young as ten years old. I distinctly remember feeling the presence of the Holy Spirit. I recall feeling light in spirit and truly wishing others well. I have always been the "big picture" type person. I have been blessed to know that there is something greater than me.

My relationship with God has been what has kept in line most of my life. I ignored the Holy Spirit when it came to food. Even though I knew better, I'd eat too much. I was steeped in the sin of gluttony.

The significant thing that has most come out of my listening to God that day I wanted to leave my husband was I began to crave food less. More and more as I was obedient, my desire for certain foods went away. I began working with a personal trainer and the weight began to fall off. Seven years later, I have not gained any weight. As a matter of fact, my entire perception of food have changed. My eating habits have changed tremendously and my body is responding greatly.

I know, had not I had the a relationship with God, and was not obedient, I would not have received this great blessing.

Why I am Feeling Great

I am have been under 250 pounds for a few months now. My loose clothes are telling the story of self-control and moderation. I am amazed at how I have been able to literally not put food in my mouth when I am not hungry.

I no longer run to chips and chicken to soothe what ails me. I no longer feel I have to eat to celebrate my accomplishments. I have been saved.

I am feeling great because I have conquered my flesh. I am no longer a glutton and I know God is pleased. I am doing all I can to live a moderate life. Moderation in all things is my new slogan and it feels great.

My emotions are in check. My health is on point and I feel great.

Why Being Honest With Yourself Is In Your Best Interest

I stayed in my marriage because I didn't want to have any regrets if I should ever have to leave. Now that we are separated, I feel as though the honesty I gave to myself helped me not become bitter. As he revealed who he really was, I did not hide from the fact I loved him anyway. I learned to appreciate his humanity by accepting if God woke him every morning, He had a plan for his life just as He did mine.

The more I used honesty as the method to soothe some of the hurt and disappointment I experienced in my marriage; the better I became at dealing with conflict and inconsistency. I began to look at how confused and unaware I have been throughout my life. I came to understand God uses us in so many ways to reach others.

I can honestly say I am proud of my husband and I. We both came from very dysfunctional homes, yet we put forth great effort to learn to love each other and form a family. It is simply a matter of arrested development and character disorder that keeps my husband from being a better human being. Ironically, he thinks he's getting over. He always does because that is his intention. He does not identify with the God within.

I am honest with myself when I say I had to learn the hard way to allow God to guide my life. Accepting I was a glutton, changed my life. I haven't gained weight in seven years. My weight is something I struggled with for over thirty years. It was a miracle to me I was able to let go of food and grab hold of God. It didn't fully happen until I was completely honest with myself.