The Greatest Compliment

My oldest came to me and said, "Mom, I want to thank you for being a great example of what it means to let a man be a man.

I was somewhat shocked by her assertion, but definitely pleased because I prided myself on being the type of woman who knew how not to step on a man's toes. I was able to do that because I have always had respect for him as a person and a man. It has never been my desire to rule a man, or to try to change him.

I believe each of us should be allowed to live our lives and be who we are. I held fast to this in my relationship. I did not let who he was keep me from being that kind of wife I wanted to be. My daughter talked of how amazed she was by the fact that I allowed him to do things he had never done before like change diapers, feed the babies, etc. She talked about how many women  would have done all they could to take the lead, whereas I literally stepped back and allowed him to make mistakes if that is what was going to happen.

I know I am blessed and it is sort of getting scary because suddenly I am being praised by my children and my ex. My karma feels good and I am thankful for the acknowledgements, but at the end of the day, I am just being me. Who I am just happens to be great!

My Savior

My oldest daughter is 32 years old today. She is so wonderful and kind to me. I am always amazed how much she has grown into a strong, positive, self-assured female.

We have become friends which is interesting considering I've always fought against it. I firmly believe the lines should not be blurred between parents and their children is at all possible, yet I do consider her a friend, as much as she considers me one.

We have been through a lot together. I had her when I was 17. I had a lot of growing up to do and she witnessed it all, if not facilitated much of it. I had to grow so I would be able to be the best mother possible.

Today she told me I was her friend, and that she has grown to respect me greatly. She compliments often on my parenting skills as she comes in contact with more and more people. I am so blessed.

It could have all been so different. I was married for 26 years to a man she hated, but my desire to be open and honest served me well. My kids are minimally dysfunctional because when dysfunction occurred, instead of ignoring it, I tackled to problem head on, thus busting any secrecy that could have caused sickness in the family unit.

We survived, she and I. Now all I desire is for her to discover life and live it.

I love you girl, you're the one!