We so often want to believe we know others when in fact, you never really know anyone. You must remember we all have secrets. We are all good at hiding things.
People tell you about them. They let you know by what they do, more than by what they say. If you want to know a person, listen to them. Stop putting your ideas on them. Stop expecting them to be like you, or want you you want. Let people be them and they will be who you want them to be, if they want to. But they most definitely won't be who you tell them they are.
It is what it is.
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