Describing Behavior
In a behavior description you should report specific observable behaviors of the other without evaluating them and without making inferences about the other person's motives, attitudes, or personality. As you develop skill in describing behavior you will become a better observer of the behaviors of others. You may find that there is sometimes little observable evidence to support our conclusion of others.
The objectives in describing behavior is to provide the other person with a clear picture of the specific behavior to which you are responding. In addition, you will usually need to communicate additional information concerning nature of your response. Behavior description is often used in conjunction with one of the other communication skills. When you describe those specific behaviors that have prompted a perception check or description of your own feelings, you will usually increase the other person's understanding of you and also help him to become aware of the effect of his own actions. A behavior description is often useful in accompanying a perception check. For example, "you have brought up the issue of gum-chewing three times this afternoon. Does that mean you feel strongly about it?"
If you and another person want to communicate clearly and improve your relationship, the behavior description can be a valuable skill. Each of you will become more aware of your impact on the other and you will both achieve a clearer picture of your own actions.
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