Feelings

I am having feelings that tend to make me want to leave where I am and do something different with different people. I have grown tired of the routine I have set for myself, even though oddly enough it is still gratifying when I want to fall back on it. Yet, I yearn for a new way of life. I am craving myself. I want to be with me.

I have been responsible since I was 17 years old. I have had to tow the line and be mature and take care of others and now I want my time, but I still have a teenager to get out of high school and into college. Sometimes I get frightened by how real my desires are to be free. I want to soar. I have been flying for a while now. I am ready for new heights.

Having a chronically ill husband probably has a lot to do with it. He is so sick I just can't seem to get away from it. We spend a lot of time together up close and personal which really isn't bad because we have a good relationship. It amazes how we have gotten to the point where we don't argue. We say what needs to be said and leave it at that. So, I can't say that I'm stressed out because we aren't getting along. I can't remember the last time I was angry with him, or he me for that matter, still I just want a break. I need to deal with these feelings.