Friends

Most people meet me and do not believe I am an introvert. I am a writer from the tip of my head to the bottom of my feet. Because of that, I find my own company most gratifying and being alone does not bother me in the least. To write you need alone time and solitude. Silence is my best friend. The early mornings allow me to have the peace I need and desire to write what is on my mind.

Yet, I do have a few friends. There are very few people I call friend. Most of the people I know never get past associates. I just don't let people in. It is a very isolated way to live, but one I am most comfortable with. I am not a traveler, so it doesn't bother me when people I know go places or aspire to. I do like to go out a few times a month and that is usually to listen to poetry or to dance. Since I've been injured I haven't been able to go dancing as much as I would normally go.

I just don't feel the need to have a people around me and as I get older, I find that I want less and less contact with others, even my family. I am constantly thinking about the time when there is no one home but me. I crave alone time. Still, we all need people in our lives. I am doing all I can to allow myself to be more open, but at 48 years old, I really don't see it happening.

I am grateful for the few people who consider me their friend. I do try hard to be the best friend I can be, which looks different than the way other people display their friendship. I let people come to me. I let them know I appreciate them, but I won't be going to their house, going out to lunch or dinner, or wanting to hang out with them. It just ain't me. But let them need me and I am there.