How To Prevent Unwanted Pregnancy

Say what you want to folk are going to have sex. Sex is a natural as breathing, eating, sleeping. Sex is a mush if we are to survive as a human race. Yet, we are still so warped in our thinking about sex until we still have an abundance of unwanted pregnancies.

The way to prevent unwanted pregnancies for teenagers or adults is to help folk figure out what is in their best interest.

Oftentimes parents do not want to talk about sex because of their own hangups. First, parents need to get over themselves and accept their responsibility to protect their children. Protection goes far beyond preaching to them the virtues of abstinence. We all know how far that goes up against nature and it powerful drives.

What is needed is information and open communication. Girls and boys should be taught that sex is a natural and necessary part of human development. Along with this knowledge they should be told they are capable of suppressing these desires, if they so choose. They should be made aware that they have the mental capacity to figure out how a child would impact their immediate future and bee allowed to make the decision whether having a child is in their best interest.

What teen aged girl or boy of average understanding would say they want to interrupt their childhood to take care of a child? Only providing one option, abstinence, is what has gotten us to this place thus far.

We need to share our personal stories with our children. Many do not want to do that for fear of being judged over the revelation that many of them got pregnant before they were ready and were not married. Instead, these parents lay down their law which cannot go up against the law of nature.

We consistently try to fight battles we cannot win with demands and dictates that bear no fruit. Give your teenager the information, help them brainstorm, imagine, and visualize what their lives would be like if they brought a child into the world. The truth is deterrent enough if we would only embrace it.

Our fear of sex is killing us. I heard there are some that are likening providing birth control to teenagers is the equivalent to passing out drug paraphernalia. Really? It is amazing how far folk will go to keep from dealing with reality.

The solution is so simple. Acceptance and education. We need to accept that our children will eventually have sex and educate them properly so they may make good choices when the time comes.

No Explanation

There is no true explanation for why a person chooses to ruin their lives. There is a certain amount of relief they feel that is evident by the way the recover. In my husband's case, he is recovering very well. He has landed on his feet, which I always knew he would. He wanted to play the victim role with me and I wasn't having it. Somebody has to be the man.

He cannot explain his actions, nor has he really tried to. All he can say is "we shouldn't be going through this." Yet in still, we are. We are because of him and his inability to love. He told me he didn't have anything against me. I told him I think he does and his actions show it.

Until he figures it out, anyway the wind blows is cool with me.

Ready If I Don't Get to Go

I was ready for the day my husband would do something to push me out of his life. Although I was surprised at how it ended, I wasn't surprised it ended.

I commend him for staying as long as he did and doing as much as he tried to do. He thought he really wanted to be a family man but he was not made out for it. His level of selfishness is too high and his willingness to be a better person is too low. He just couldn't make the cut.

I was committed to the marriage and as long as he was willing to go through the motions, I was too because we both were growing as individuals.

What I didn't do was stop being who I was. I didn't stop living my life. I didn't lose me in the process of being married to him. Even though I was completely involved, I was detached in all the right ways. Now that it is over, the pain that is usually associated with loss is lessened by the reality that I loved him unconditionally, as much as I am humanly possible of and I don't regret a moment of it, but I am glad it is over.

He didn't have what it takes to be civil and decent. He is so institutionalized until he can barely relate on a level that would allow others to really reach him. Although I do believe I touched him him many ways, his abandonment issues would not allow him to let himself be loved. He had to push it away. His illness and my response to it made him feel unworthy of my care taking. He couldn't believe I was not the vindictive, revengeful woman he had painted me out to be.

My loving ways scared him more than if I had been mean and resentful of him. He couldn't handle to constant willingness to forgive and love anyway. It was all too much, so he pushed me away.

The good thing about it all is I'm ready if I don't get to go. I'm prepared for a better life, more opportunities to love and the peace of mind to do so. You don't have to lose you when you lose the one you love.

Damaged Soul

The work I do, working with emotionally challenged teen aged females, has afforded me the knowledge that sometimes the damage is done and there is no looking back.
This is the case with my husband. At 50 years old, he is just as lost and unstable as he was 10, 15, 20 years ago.

He has never sought the help needed to deal with the spiritual warfare he has been in for years. He has such a mean spirit and it shows itself at the wrong time all the time. He has low impulse control, and is unable to accept when he is wrong, especially when he is wrong. He immediately projects unto others, that which is clearly his and feels that he deserves grace, whether he is willing to give it or not.

Even though he is very sick, I do not bite my tongue with him. While he is alive he needs to try to be a better person. And yes, I do feel I am in his life to be mirror for some of his madness. I have no problem reflecting what he projects so he can see how ugly he can be at times.

I really think things have been going too well for him. He can't stand things going right. It never fails that he does something stupid to mess everything up. He is such a damaged soul.