Boyce is Right

Dr. Watkins wrote on his website TheGrio, "If the mother does not open the door for a child to have a good relationship with his or her father, then no such relationship is going to exist."

He is right. This is true and the fact of this statement plays out over and over, generation after generation, because some women refuse to get over themselves.

Some truly believe children cannot be raised without a mother in the home. They honestly believe the child is better off with them no matter what lifestyle they are living. A lot of times the mothers end up living much worse lives than does the estranged husband, man, boyfriend, baby's daddy. Yet the courts will continue to return the child, the father will ignore the fact, and the mother has the nerve to be upset when her children hold her in no regard.

Then there are those who are upset the man didn't want them. They brood and make the child(ren) suffer. God can only help the one that looks like their father. You can usually recognize them by the black sheep's head they wear. Beat down by a mother who couldn't not get over the fact that the love of her life was not the love of her life, these people have a yearning for love that can only be truly soothed by self-love.

The mother will play bat and ball with the child(ren). Even resorting to occasional sex with the father if he wants it. When she gives into her flesh, she blames him when he doesn't return and the cycle of keeping him at bay begins again. As we all know, most times, never to end. Many children grow up without their fathers because of their mother's bruised egos.

Then their are the mothers who know that keeping the child away from the man is eating him up. She plays with him with the courts. Stretching the boundaries of the law. Part of it is because he doesn't want her, or maybe he does and she is too crazy to live with. Whatever reason, the women that uses the court system as a means of battering their children's father is a tragedy. She hides behind the law, the belief that children are better off with the mother, to aggravate him. What is so funny is this usually happens to the men who would probably be in the kid's life if the mother wasn't so crazy. In most of these instances, these women who behave this way are immature, need a reality check and a healthy dose of self-love.

What about the mothers that have children with the intent the man will never be in the child's life. These are some of the worse narcissistic females. Believing they truly possess all the child needs. Often only looking to the physical to make that list. Very seldom does a woman think beyond whether she can afford the child monetarily, or the fact that she wants someone to love, or wants someone to love her; these women cannot see beyond their desperate need to feel special, wanted and needed to realize the child will have its own set of wants, needs, and desires. They miss the very valuable point of two parents. The perspectives are different when it come to male and female. There is no way a woman can be a man, nor can a man be woman.

As women we must accept we do not understand, or know men. Relationships, especially intimate relationships are about exploration, discovery, curiosity. When we don't understand them, it is not for us to become angry and expect them to console us. We must put on our explorer's cap, our listener's cap, or whatever it takes to give our mate the chance to be who they are so we may know who they are.

The other problem is women do not listen when men are telling them who they are. We hear them, but we don't listen, and we pay dearly and so do the children who don't get to see their dad.