It is so easy to feel as though President Obama and Attorney General Holder are chastizing black men. So what if they are? Men have to be able to take the scrutiny from their brothers. This is the biggest problem with male bonding. There is a tendancy to let each other slide.
Had Tiger Woods had a real male friend he would have stopped Tiger long ago. A woman's girlfriend would have at the least, slipped and let her girl know she thought she was a hoe. We all know the reasons, but at this point they are excuses. Brother need to be raised by their parents, or parent, whatever the situation. So many are allowed to do whatever boys do, and depending on the environment, it very well may not be much.
Another reason I stay in my marriage is because I figured out what President Obama and Atty. Gen. Holder are talking about when they say men are "behaving like little boys" by not staying home with their families. They are right. Too many woman let their spouses off the hook, when they should fight it out and help him understand the importance of staying in her/their house and taking care of her/their children. The strongest of the species are capable of doing this. It is innate in our human make-up.
Fear of emotional pain causes us to only find more emotional pain. We cannot figure it out. Pain is the biggest part of it. Learning to manage the painful experiences of life is all that is required. You cannot run from that which is set in your path by our life's circumstances. You can change the circumstances and this is the only path-growth. Learning to apply what you learn.
What has to happen is men and women need to learn more about each other. Some things that cause strain in our relationships have to do with who we are at the core of our existence. Both sexes need to understand more, empathize more, so they can deal with the things they can change.
Men behave like little boys in relationships when they clearly use opportunities to be anywhere but home. Hanging out with the home boys, playing video games, strip clubbing, clubbing, all these thing are play time activities and many men carry these activities with them into the marriage. They just don't fit. These things have to become back burner activities when you marry.
Ways Women Let Their Men Off the Hook
1. We feel we are the only ones who understand how to take care of children.
This is a real tragedy. So many women buy into the gender role BS until they actuallybelieve they are the only sex that can raise children effectively.
2. We think we are the only ones who should decorate the house.
This may sound silly to you, but women who completely dominate the decor of a house is setting herself up for failure. Your mate should be included in every aspect of maintaining the home.
3. Not telling him what we need.
So many women let men off the hook when they expect him to read their minds. When the man does not respond how they think he should, they form resentments and hold grudges, which turns him off and most often to another.
4. Keeping quiet when you know he is doing wrong.
Overlooking wrongs, hurts, slights, disrespect is something many women do. Not because they love unconditionally, but because they usually don't know themselves enough to stand up for themselves in the proper way. Speak up!
5. Sharing information with family and friends.
Men use this to go to other people and complain about you not coming to him. Not being open with your spouse will lead to disaster, one way or the other.
Our egos are often our worse enemies. President is correct when he says men need to grow up and when need to hold them accountable for their growth.
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