Boyce is Wrong

Dr. Boyce Watkins is wrong to admonish President Obama and Attorney General Holder for saying black men are behaving like little boys by not staying home with their families.

They are right and Boyce knows it. Damn the social issues, at the end of the day, it is who is laying next to you that matters. President Obama knows this, especially in this season of his life. Had he not stayed with his family, he would have missed his wonderful opportunity to change history. Plain and simple.

This is how it is for all of us. We must learn to stand up and respond like adults when we create adult situations and our marriages should be first on the list. We must stop blaming society, black and white, when it comes to our marriages. Say what you want, not having a job does not keep someone from showing love to another. Not having social standing, or public respect will not keep love from finding you if you are open to it and willing to participate in the spreading of it.

But what happens so often is the man is will to play house as long as he doesn't have to do anything but keep the lights, gas, water, and food going.

Women are as much to blame for allowing men to behave like little boys and shirk their responsibilities. People ask me how I can stay with my husband. A big part of why I stay is because he does. He runs away, but he comes back to face it. We make it up until he has to run again. Instead of me turning away when he comes back, I look for the change, I look for the God in him. It sounds corny, but it works. Then I hold him accountable. I remind him of the promises he has made. I remind him of the type of man he said he wanted to be. I am his memory.

All this has taken practice on my part. Many people never get to this level because they give up too soon.

Dr. Watkins, you are wrong. The majority of the men who leave their families are running away from their responsibility. Even those (white men) who supposedly have everything. It is spiritual warfare at its worse, a man making the decision to destroy what he has created. Our souls are sick and we fight the sickness by self-medicating, thrill seeking and flat out denial. It is time we all mature.