When I was a kid over 35 years ago, there was a cigarette commercial that feature two cowboys preparing to have a dual in the middle of the street. One was trying to get the other to change his brand of smokes. The other guy proudly stated, "I'd rather fight than switch."
This is the stand we have to take with our marriages. It is so easy to want to give up when things are not like we want them to be, but I am here to tell you that there is no greater victory than that which comes from sticking to your guns and doing the right thing, for the right things sake.
Not many people get married thinking they are going to divorce. Yet, so many marriages end in divorce you would think it was planned from the beginning. What happens is when things hit the marriage, we blame the marriage, when in fact it is normally our inability to deal with our own issues that causes us to lose what we claim to cherish the most.
No matter what, most times if you are married and your marriage fails you are part of the problem. Yes, sometimes one spouse may be more of the problem, but it becomes your problem if you don't recognize it is their personal issue and you try to fix it. We must learn how to be supportive of each other and not try to be their parent, therapist, advisor, etc.
There is a belief held by some people who really believe they are supposed to be everything to their partners, but this is ridiculous. So many marriages fall apart because one or both parties think they know what is best for the other.
We should be on a voyage of discovery in our marriages. We should come into them with wide eyes and truly hopeful thoughts. We should not have high expectations for anyone but ourselves and plan to live up to the vows we couldn't wait to take.
Be honest, be open, keep it real.
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