Don't hate me because I am not afraid to say I have learned enough about marriage and relationships to keep mine afloat. Don't hate me because my husband still finds me attractive, after 25 years. Don't hate me because we laugh and have learned to enjoy each others company.
Don't hate!
Don't hate because even though my marriage isn't perfect, I still feel I am where I should be and could not be had I not made the choice to marry the man I did.
Don't hate. It is such a waste of time. Instead, try to find your own way to get what you most desire from your relationships. It takes love, not hate.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Friday, October 8, 2010
Hard Times
We are not prepared for the randomness of life. I am in ICU waiting for my husband to have surgery. He has internal bleeding. Since the four strokes in 2008, he has been in and out of the hospital. He is only 49 and it all seems premature. The doctors told him he has the body of a 65 year old. He has not cared much about taking care of himself and know he is paying dearly. My father didn't care about his health either and would often boast about having to die with something.
My husband has him beat. My husband has high blood pressure, diabetes, gasteoparesis, is in kidney and liver failure. It makes me sad to see how little he cares about himself. I have a hard time accepting he can't accept how bad off he is. He seems to have a death wish. I pray for God to touch his heart and open his mind. I hope he'll recognize his worth.
My husband has him beat. My husband has high blood pressure, diabetes, gasteoparesis, is in kidney and liver failure. It makes me sad to see how little he cares about himself. I have a hard time accepting he can't accept how bad off he is. He seems to have a death wish. I pray for God to touch his heart and open his mind. I hope he'll recognize his worth.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Acceptance 3
Wow, I could write on the subject of acceptance all day long. I really do people have such a hard time in life because they refuse to accept what is often right before their eyes. So often people are looking for someone else to save them, or to help them in some way, when in actuality we all have what we need to get what we want out of this life.
Many people are afraid to live. They create fantasy worlds, or retreat to watching TV while others live their lives. Some feel they cannot accomplish, or do not know how to get things done. So many of us have little faith in our capabilities. We let others do and sit back and say, "I wish I could."
You can. All you have to do is accept what you want may take hard work. It may take a long time, but it is doable. We must accept certain aspects of our lives before we can change them. Not accepting a circumstance, or situation we cannot control will only cause us more grief and dysfunction. With a little acceptance, you can go a long way.
Many people are afraid to live. They create fantasy worlds, or retreat to watching TV while others live their lives. Some feel they cannot accomplish, or do not know how to get things done. So many of us have little faith in our capabilities. We let others do and sit back and say, "I wish I could."
You can. All you have to do is accept what you want may take hard work. It may take a long time, but it is doable. We must accept certain aspects of our lives before we can change them. Not accepting a circumstance, or situation we cannot control will only cause us more grief and dysfunction. With a little acceptance, you can go a long way.
You
"Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got." Janis Joplin
I know, I know. She killed herself with drugs, but that doesn't mean she didn't have something worthwhile to say. She was right, which she learned; if you compromise yourself, you may not be able to comeback from whatever you gave yourself up to.
It is important we recognize when we are compromising ourselves. There are times when compromise is necessary, especially in marriage, but even then there are limitations. What is happening is many people give up so much of who they are without any true understanding of what they are giving up. Then, when they go inside themselves they find nothingness and loneliness. They look up and everyone they have given to have taken and gone. They are left to figure out how to get what they need. Oftentimes, they have to do without because they have compromised too much. When you lay down for people, they have a hard time when you try to get up on your feet.
Know who you are. Know why you want and need. Find a way to get it and learn to say no.
I know, I know. She killed herself with drugs, but that doesn't mean she didn't have something worthwhile to say. She was right, which she learned; if you compromise yourself, you may not be able to comeback from whatever you gave yourself up to.
It is important we recognize when we are compromising ourselves. There are times when compromise is necessary, especially in marriage, but even then there are limitations. What is happening is many people give up so much of who they are without any true understanding of what they are giving up. Then, when they go inside themselves they find nothingness and loneliness. They look up and everyone they have given to have taken and gone. They are left to figure out how to get what they need. Oftentimes, they have to do without because they have compromised too much. When you lay down for people, they have a hard time when you try to get up on your feet.
Know who you are. Know why you want and need. Find a way to get it and learn to say no.
Prayer for Others
My Prayer for You
when you're lonely
I wish you love
when you're down
I wish you joy
when you're troubled
I wish you peace
when things are complicated
I wish you simple beauty
when things are chaotic
I wish you silence
when things look empty
I wish you hope
Share this with someone and really mean it. People are weary.
when you're lonely
I wish you love
when you're down
I wish you joy
when you're troubled
I wish you peace
when things are complicated
I wish you simple beauty
when things are chaotic
I wish you silence
when things look empty
I wish you hope
Share this with someone and really mean it. People are weary.
LOVE
One of my co-workers asked me how I wanted to be remembered. I told him I wanted people to remember me as someone who knew how to love.
I truly believe that is why we are all here. We are here to learn to love and forgive. Forgive and love. According to St. Paul, in his letter to the Corinthians love is:
Love is patient, love is kind. Love is not jealous, it doesn not put on airs, it is not snobbish. Love is never rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not prone to anger; neither does it brood over injuries. Love does not rejoice in what is wrong, but rejoices with the truth. There is no limit to love's forbearance, its truth, its hope, its power to endure.
My power to endure really bothers people. They have labled it many things. Many say I am a fool, I am gullible, I am weak, etc. But what they miss is what is really going on, I am doing my best to learn the limitlessness of love. On the surface, I may look like to fool to many, but for those who really know, they know I know how to love.
I truly believe that is why we are all here. We are here to learn to love and forgive. Forgive and love. According to St. Paul, in his letter to the Corinthians love is:
Love is patient, love is kind. Love is not jealous, it doesn not put on airs, it is not snobbish. Love is never rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not prone to anger; neither does it brood over injuries. Love does not rejoice in what is wrong, but rejoices with the truth. There is no limit to love's forbearance, its truth, its hope, its power to endure.
My power to endure really bothers people. They have labled it many things. Many say I am a fool, I am gullible, I am weak, etc. But what they miss is what is really going on, I am doing my best to learn the limitlessness of love. On the surface, I may look like to fool to many, but for those who really know, they know I know how to love.
Life 101
Myhusband is a but man. Whenever you tell him something that is true, or right, he'll say, "You right, but.
Life 101
"You said, 'but.' I've put my finger on the whole trouble. You're a 'but' man. Don't say, 'but.' That little word 'but' is the difference between success and failure. Henry Ford said, 'I'm going to invent the automobile,' and Arthur T. Flanken said, 'But...'" Sgt. Ernie Bilko, "The Phil Silvers Show"
Unfortunately, my husband has always been that way and his life shows it. He always finds a 'but' to insert and it usually wipes away any chance that something could be different or better. Now that he is chronically ill, I see how his negativity is causing him to have more bad days than good. For some reason, he just can't seem to understand he can't overeat. Not only because he is diabetic, but due to the severity of the diabetes his body is no longer able to process large amounts of food. He suffers greatly for days, sometimes weeks at a time. I look at him and think to myself, "If only he believed more. If only he would get out of his own way."
Instead, he consistently loses each day he begins. He holds on to things he should have long let go. He lies to others and himself and he refuses to accept the situation for what it is. He will never again be the same. The strokes, heart attack, kidney failure, and now liver failure, have all caused his illness to go to another level. He hasn't changed his ways.
I often wonder, "My God, what will it take for him to do something different?" It may never happen and I am prepared for that too.
Life 101
"You said, 'but.' I've put my finger on the whole trouble. You're a 'but' man. Don't say, 'but.' That little word 'but' is the difference between success and failure. Henry Ford said, 'I'm going to invent the automobile,' and Arthur T. Flanken said, 'But...'" Sgt. Ernie Bilko, "The Phil Silvers Show"
Unfortunately, my husband has always been that way and his life shows it. He always finds a 'but' to insert and it usually wipes away any chance that something could be different or better. Now that he is chronically ill, I see how his negativity is causing him to have more bad days than good. For some reason, he just can't seem to understand he can't overeat. Not only because he is diabetic, but due to the severity of the diabetes his body is no longer able to process large amounts of food. He suffers greatly for days, sometimes weeks at a time. I look at him and think to myself, "If only he believed more. If only he would get out of his own way."
Instead, he consistently loses each day he begins. He holds on to things he should have long let go. He lies to others and himself and he refuses to accept the situation for what it is. He will never again be the same. The strokes, heart attack, kidney failure, and now liver failure, have all caused his illness to go to another level. He hasn't changed his ways.
I often wonder, "My God, what will it take for him to do something different?" It may never happen and I am prepared for that too.
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