Sometimes I get a lot of feelings around subjects. I feel like I should say a certain thing, or do a certain thing, or be a certain place. Instead of fragmenting myself, I write. I write a lot. I have a journal and I notice I don't write in it as much when I am experiencing stress in a positive sense. I take the time to give thanks and praise for the gifts, good news, less energy wasted, or whatever the case may be, but I don't go into as much detail as I would when I am upset, anger, furious, ready to kill, melancholy.
Melancholy is intoxicating. As does meaning words, melancholy has several meanings. It can mean 1. Sadness or depression of spirits, gloom. 2. Pensive reflective or comtemplative. I experience more of #2. I am quite pensive, reflective and comtemplative. It is truly as much a part of who I am as my eye color. What I like even more is that I have learned to control it, and recognize it, (melancholy) for what it is. I see its benefits in my life and I use it for it usefulness.
Peace
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
How Did I Know?
I knew my husband was the one when he was willing to make a fool of himself for my sake. He has done this numerous times throughout the 25 years we've been together, but the very first time he did it really solidified a place for him in my heart.
Back in 1985 when we met, there was a rock group called General Public and they had a hit titled Tenderness. I loved that song, but it was really faced paced and my husband was more of a cool dancer, but me, I loved to get into it with the music.
No one really liked to dance to the song because of the pace so when it came on everyone got off the floor but me. We had just met and he wanted to impress me so when he turned around and saw I was dancing to the song, he actually joined in. By the end of the record, he was soaked with sweat. I love to dance and it meant a lot to me he didn't leave me on the floor alone, as I had been left so many times before.
I also knew he loved me when I came home one day and he had taken strips of carpet and nailed them to the wall. It was very decorative, even though I was thrown off by the concept at first. I stood away from the wall so I could take it all in and noticed he had written I love you with his finger in the carpet. Yes, my heart melted, once again.
Then there was the time we broke up and I refused to talk to him. He came to the Gaslight, a hole in the wall we frequented on the weekends. I wouldn't talk to him. The bartender came over to the table and told me to watch to scrolling sign. As I watched, I saw "Jerome loves Wanda" roll by. He had me. The bartender made it a point to tell me he paid them $50 to put that on the sign.
Love is an action word. What a person says means little. It is what they do that tells you whether they are sincere or not.
Back in 1985 when we met, there was a rock group called General Public and they had a hit titled Tenderness. I loved that song, but it was really faced paced and my husband was more of a cool dancer, but me, I loved to get into it with the music.
No one really liked to dance to the song because of the pace so when it came on everyone got off the floor but me. We had just met and he wanted to impress me so when he turned around and saw I was dancing to the song, he actually joined in. By the end of the record, he was soaked with sweat. I love to dance and it meant a lot to me he didn't leave me on the floor alone, as I had been left so many times before.
I also knew he loved me when I came home one day and he had taken strips of carpet and nailed them to the wall. It was very decorative, even though I was thrown off by the concept at first. I stood away from the wall so I could take it all in and noticed he had written I love you with his finger in the carpet. Yes, my heart melted, once again.
Then there was the time we broke up and I refused to talk to him. He came to the Gaslight, a hole in the wall we frequented on the weekends. I wouldn't talk to him. The bartender came over to the table and told me to watch to scrolling sign. As I watched, I saw "Jerome loves Wanda" roll by. He had me. The bartender made it a point to tell me he paid them $50 to put that on the sign.
Love is an action word. What a person says means little. It is what they do that tells you whether they are sincere or not.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Really?
It always amazes me when people find out how I really am, that they are surprised. Because I can be loud and opinionated, strong in my convictions, and rarely back down from a fight; people also tend to feel I am judgmental. Which is furthest from the truth. I am a person who likes to see people do what is in their best interest. The problem comes in when I do not hesitate to be honest, or say what I believe. Most times what I believe a person could do if they chose to, is the last thing they want to do.
So, people only come to me when they think they want to hear what I believe, think, or advise. Those who walk into my world either walk out liking me, or wishing they never met me. The great thing about me is I am usually the same with everybody, unless I cannot be.
I tried to warn someone that someone they knew would be negative upon hearing news they wanted to tell. This person did not believe me, but as sure as I am beautiful, that person was immediately negative when told the news. I actually got to witness it in real time. I heard every word. No, I'm not happy I was right. It was just one of the many times I have read a person right.
Sometimes people really do just want to know your business just to know. They are with you, not for you, as evidenced by their inability to recognize your feelings when giving advise and listening to your situations, circumstance, etc. Do not be fooled. Everybody is not your friend just because they are friendly. Sometimes people just want to know your business just to know.
Before you share with other married women or men, you need to know how they feel about their own marriage. You can be guaranteed if they aren't where they want to be, they are not going to be able to be objective enough to help you. Married people do need to be real with couples seeking advise, but they do not need to be negative. Unless there is violence, no one should encourage another to divorce. Even when there is infidelity, there can be reconciliation, if the couple can come to an understanding.
Watch who you tell your business to. Take what everyone says with a grain of salt because no one has THE ANSWER, they only know what works for them.
So, people only come to me when they think they want to hear what I believe, think, or advise. Those who walk into my world either walk out liking me, or wishing they never met me. The great thing about me is I am usually the same with everybody, unless I cannot be.
I tried to warn someone that someone they knew would be negative upon hearing news they wanted to tell. This person did not believe me, but as sure as I am beautiful, that person was immediately negative when told the news. I actually got to witness it in real time. I heard every word. No, I'm not happy I was right. It was just one of the many times I have read a person right.
Sometimes people really do just want to know your business just to know. They are with you, not for you, as evidenced by their inability to recognize your feelings when giving advise and listening to your situations, circumstance, etc. Do not be fooled. Everybody is not your friend just because they are friendly. Sometimes people just want to know your business just to know.
Before you share with other married women or men, you need to know how they feel about their own marriage. You can be guaranteed if they aren't where they want to be, they are not going to be able to be objective enough to help you. Married people do need to be real with couples seeking advise, but they do not need to be negative. Unless there is violence, no one should encourage another to divorce. Even when there is infidelity, there can be reconciliation, if the couple can come to an understanding.
Watch who you tell your business to. Take what everyone says with a grain of salt because no one has THE ANSWER, they only know what works for them.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Everybody Plays the Fool, Sometimes
It is so true. Everybody who is smart enough to know they are nothing if they do not love and are not loved, will play the fool at some point in their lives.
For me, I decided I'd stay with the one who made a fool out of me. Since he was so smart, I wanted to see if he could finally figure out how to really get rid of me. Ultimately, he decided it was he, who was the fool and has decided it is cheaper to keep her (me).
You cannot allow yourself the luxury of not sharing your heart and soul with someone. Yes, it is a luxury not to love. Love can be pretty grueling. You really have to be ready to be a catch all, or sometimes you're the pitcher in the game of love. Either way, somebody is going to be hurt in some way. What we must do is recognize to experience love, you must know pain. To be happy, you have to have been sad. What comes around does go around. Sometimes faster than we'd like.
But when it is love we are dishing out, it doesn't matter. Love does conquer all. Love is the key. All we do need is love, love really is all we need. So what if you get your heart broken, be glad you are alive and can feel. Don't stop giving love because one person wasn't able to accept it. There is someone who will not only accept it, but give it back to you.
Yes, everybody plays the fool, sometimes, and no, there are no exceptions to this rule.
For me, I decided I'd stay with the one who made a fool out of me. Since he was so smart, I wanted to see if he could finally figure out how to really get rid of me. Ultimately, he decided it was he, who was the fool and has decided it is cheaper to keep her (me).
You cannot allow yourself the luxury of not sharing your heart and soul with someone. Yes, it is a luxury not to love. Love can be pretty grueling. You really have to be ready to be a catch all, or sometimes you're the pitcher in the game of love. Either way, somebody is going to be hurt in some way. What we must do is recognize to experience love, you must know pain. To be happy, you have to have been sad. What comes around does go around. Sometimes faster than we'd like.
But when it is love we are dishing out, it doesn't matter. Love does conquer all. Love is the key. All we do need is love, love really is all we need. So what if you get your heart broken, be glad you are alive and can feel. Don't stop giving love because one person wasn't able to accept it. There is someone who will not only accept it, but give it back to you.
Yes, everybody plays the fool, sometimes, and no, there are no exceptions to this rule.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Rather Fight than Switch
When I was a kid over 35 years ago, there was a cigarette commercial that feature two cowboys preparing to have a dual in the middle of the street. One was trying to get the other to change his brand of smokes. The other guy proudly stated, "I'd rather fight than switch."
This is the stand we have to take with our marriages. It is so easy to want to give up when things are not like we want them to be, but I am here to tell you that there is no greater victory than that which comes from sticking to your guns and doing the right thing, for the right things sake.
Not many people get married thinking they are going to divorce. Yet, so many marriages end in divorce you would think it was planned from the beginning. What happens is when things hit the marriage, we blame the marriage, when in fact it is normally our inability to deal with our own issues that causes us to lose what we claim to cherish the most.
No matter what, most times if you are married and your marriage fails you are part of the problem. Yes, sometimes one spouse may be more of the problem, but it becomes your problem if you don't recognize it is their personal issue and you try to fix it. We must learn how to be supportive of each other and not try to be their parent, therapist, advisor, etc.
There is a belief held by some people who really believe they are supposed to be everything to their partners, but this is ridiculous. So many marriages fall apart because one or both parties think they know what is best for the other.
We should be on a voyage of discovery in our marriages. We should come into them with wide eyes and truly hopeful thoughts. We should not have high expectations for anyone but ourselves and plan to live up to the vows we couldn't wait to take.
Be honest, be open, keep it real.
This is the stand we have to take with our marriages. It is so easy to want to give up when things are not like we want them to be, but I am here to tell you that there is no greater victory than that which comes from sticking to your guns and doing the right thing, for the right things sake.
Not many people get married thinking they are going to divorce. Yet, so many marriages end in divorce you would think it was planned from the beginning. What happens is when things hit the marriage, we blame the marriage, when in fact it is normally our inability to deal with our own issues that causes us to lose what we claim to cherish the most.
No matter what, most times if you are married and your marriage fails you are part of the problem. Yes, sometimes one spouse may be more of the problem, but it becomes your problem if you don't recognize it is their personal issue and you try to fix it. We must learn how to be supportive of each other and not try to be their parent, therapist, advisor, etc.
There is a belief held by some people who really believe they are supposed to be everything to their partners, but this is ridiculous. So many marriages fall apart because one or both parties think they know what is best for the other.
We should be on a voyage of discovery in our marriages. We should come into them with wide eyes and truly hopeful thoughts. We should not have high expectations for anyone but ourselves and plan to live up to the vows we couldn't wait to take.
Be honest, be open, keep it real.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Reconnecting
I recently joined Facebook in hopes of spreading the word regarding marriage. I was thrilled to find old friends and one in particular. In high school, we made an effort to spend time with each other and we had great talks and good fun.
We had a long talk yesterday and it was like we had been in each other's lives all this time, when in fact, we literally haven't talked in over 28 years. One thing I know for sure and that is when it is time, it is time. It is time for me to reconnect with a good friend.
We had a long talk yesterday and it was like we had been in each other's lives all this time, when in fact, we literally haven't talked in over 28 years. One thing I know for sure and that is when it is time, it is time. It is time for me to reconnect with a good friend.
Blogging
I find blogging to be interesting. You have no idea who is reading what you are writing and for me that is just fine. I like to write and I obviously have a lot to say. Blogging gives me the satisfaction of immediately displaying my thoughts, which is something no one could have ever told me could happen. Instant publication, that is.
Being able to instantly publish something you write is thrilling for a writer. Especially one like me who likes to write everyday. I am currently working on a pamphlet titled Writing for Wellness. It encourages individuals to use writing as a form of self-regulation, therapy, and a way to track accomplishments, etc.
Many people think there is some sort of special magic that has to happen to be able to write. Most times all it takes is picking up a pen and paper. So many are astonished at how much they really have to say.
Being able to instantly publish something you write is thrilling for a writer. Especially one like me who likes to write everyday. I am currently working on a pamphlet titled Writing for Wellness. It encourages individuals to use writing as a form of self-regulation, therapy, and a way to track accomplishments, etc.
Many people think there is some sort of special magic that has to happen to be able to write. Most times all it takes is picking up a pen and paper. So many are astonished at how much they really have to say.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)