Saturday, November 23, 2013

Clearly The Last Days

My estranged husband is experiencing a horrific existence and I cannot and will not ride along throughout the final days.
I invested heavily in him and our marriage during the time we were active. I gave 100%. I was never one to believe in 50/50. The song Teddy Pendergrass sang never made sense to me. I always thought to myself, "How can a whole person only give half of themselves to the person they love?"

So glad i gave my whole self to my husband and the marriage because after being separated for two years and watching the living hell he is experiencing, hindsight is 20/20.

he feels sorry for himself and it is so hard to watch. He is still, five years later in complete denial about why he is where he is today.

Diabetes is a disease of obesity. We both were addicted to food. For him, there were some things he did not fully understand about his family history, plus his lifestyle that made it inevitable he would end up this way if he did not take control of his impulses.

High blood pressure is related to stress in a great way. His lifestyle was reckless. He was purely a I will do it what I want type of guy.

I won't lie; I was intrigued by this attitude. He surely helped bring me out of my shell and when he used his talents in the proper way, he was exciting and fun. We had a lot of fun and did a lot of things.
But, he really did not care. He did not love himself, believe in himself in a positive way, or have any true belief in God. Although when I met him, he was going to church every Sunday, I soon discovered it was a sham. He was only going for show. As a matter of fact, nothing was sincere about him except his desire to go over and slide by. A true con man.

As of last week, he has had four strokes, at least five true heart attacks, both legs removed, left arm not functional, right arm barely functional, lost finger on right hand, kidney failure,Aorta valve replaced, stint put in his basal artery.

God's will be done.

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