Tuesday, October 19, 2010

You Don't Know Me

So many people I meet make up their minds about what kind of person I am instantly. Then there are those who hear about me from others, form an opinion, then apologize stating, "You aren't like they said."

No, you don't know me. I am a strong black woman, capable of many things. I have come to the conclusion that the choices I made were necessary for my continued growth and maturity. I have chosen a hard path, one very similar to my grandmother and mother. My girls will break the cycle. In many ways they already have.

Yes, I am a peacemaker. I have been for all my life. I am the type that would love to burst into song throughout the day. I love to dance and laugh. I want everyone to feel as comfortable as they can around me. This is why I have developed the ability to allow others to be themselves with very few expectations. I am open to their process as much as I am my own, because I know people come into your for a reason. It is up to us to accept this and learn from the transactions that transpire between those we engage.

When I was in high school, I was accused of having the "Martin Luther King" syndrome. People hated the fact I would do what I could to find a win/win situation for all. Throughout the years I learned how impossible of a feat this can be, especially when you are dealing with those who would rather inspire conflict than a resolution. I desire peace. I desire harmony and silence. Because of this fact, I keep my life pretty clean. I have cut off, dropped away from, or simply forgot about certain people who were either hangers on, or folk who like to complain, but never really stand up and do what is necessary to make a change.

On the other hand, I have no problem with conflict if it is necessary to get to a peaceful resolution. Sometimes somebody might have to get cursed out to get the point. If that is the case, I can do that too. I'd much rather have peace, but I can do chaos.

You don't know me. You won't know me if you don't allow me to be me with you. If I have to be certain way to be your friend, I won't be your friend. If I have to have money to hang with you, even if I had it I wouldn't. If I had to know a certain set, or run with a certain crew for you to consider me, I won't be considered. I love me just the way I am with all my imperfections, limitations, and failures. I am.

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