If you have been reading my blogs, then you are aware that my marriage is raggedy. It has all the scares of a very worn 25 year relationship. Our 21st Wedding Anniversary is on June 25th. April of this year marked 25 years we have been involved with each other.
Even with all the chaos, ups and downs, right and wrongs, I must say I am very proud of the fact we have hung in there. Even with the emotional detachment that has occurred over the past few years, I still feel a deep solidarity and commitment to the married. My marriage has served me well. Being committed to the union has allowed me to mature and grow in ways I would not have had I not been married, or even married to the man I chose.
I told my husband if he wanted to mend the relationship we had to start over. He has to pursue me and regain trust. Surprising, he said, "I completely agree." I was shocked. I just knew he would not want to put forth the effort, but I was wrong. Even though we normally go out 3-4 times a month, I am the one who initiates it. Since the emotional divorce, he has been more forthcoming, more attentive, and is really listening. In the past few weeks, I have caught myself being completely surprised by his actions of thoughtfulness, caring, sharing, and listening.
We as women know they hear us, but we also know they aren't listening. He is listening more and it has made a huge difference in how I deal with him.
What I love about being married most is the fact that the two people involved are the masters of their union. They get to decide who's in, who's out. They get to decide whether to hold on or let go. Neither on of us are quitters and we both know how much more enriched our lives have been because we have maintained our union.
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