I am maintaining my weight. I have gained weight in years and I am toning and eating less. It never ceases to amaze me how women allow themselves to feel less than because they are unwilling to do what they need to do for themselves to have what they want.
I went out tonight. I looked cute in my knee length after five red dress, but I was critcized and eyeballed, because I pulled it off. I looked really good and you could see it all over the faces of the women who made sure I saw they were looking at me.
So what? I have nice legs, even at 48 and I have no problem showing them. I looked good. Jealousy is such a waste of time. Find out what looks good on you and stop trippin' on what others are wearing or doing.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Watching for the Signs
My husband's doctor has told him to be watching for the signs of a stroke. He has has four and because the arteries in his brain are hardening, he will possibly have more, or at least one. The signs are there. His eyesight is failing rapidly. I see the terror in his face every time he reads something.
The poor remote, he has dropped it so often I have complete faith in plastic. It still lives. What is the hardest is his memory loss, or inability to retain. I haven't figured out which is the case, but he most definitely doesn't remember much. It was easy for me to play the victim role and say he was not listening to me, that is why he doesn't hear me. I am finding that whether he listening or not, he may not hear, for he is losing his hearing.
Diabetes have ravaged his body. Diabetes is taking the man I married away from me and all I can do is wait and watch for the signs. I can only hope and pray that however it comes he is spared anymore further pain and suffering. The slow, but sure death he is experiencing is painful to watch, but I am there for him as much as I can be.
I do my best to continue to treat him the same, but it is hard because my heart really does recognize he is not the same man. I'm blaming it on bad genes, bad eating habits and habitual denial of reality. He wouldn't do what he was told to do and now it is too late. So we just watch for the signs.
The poor remote, he has dropped it so often I have complete faith in plastic. It still lives. What is the hardest is his memory loss, or inability to retain. I haven't figured out which is the case, but he most definitely doesn't remember much. It was easy for me to play the victim role and say he was not listening to me, that is why he doesn't hear me. I am finding that whether he listening or not, he may not hear, for he is losing his hearing.
Diabetes have ravaged his body. Diabetes is taking the man I married away from me and all I can do is wait and watch for the signs. I can only hope and pray that however it comes he is spared anymore further pain and suffering. The slow, but sure death he is experiencing is painful to watch, but I am there for him as much as I can be.
I do my best to continue to treat him the same, but it is hard because my heart really does recognize he is not the same man. I'm blaming it on bad genes, bad eating habits and habitual denial of reality. He wouldn't do what he was told to do and now it is too late. So we just watch for the signs.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Perception Ain't Reality
I know I'm harping on whether or not we ever really know someone. After finding out and understanding that we really don't, I feel obligated to remind people of this fact. You will never fully know another person. There are always undeveloped parts, parts they hide, and things you just don't see for whatever reason.
So many people get married thinking they really know something about the person they are married to. All it takes is a few years and you can see in their eyes, "Who is this person?" People change and hopefully grow. People seek and hopefully find.
The best you can do is to accept the person for who they are at the time you are engaged with them, knowing that at any given moment you may be faced with a stranger.
So many people get married thinking they really know something about the person they are married to. All it takes is a few years and you can see in their eyes, "Who is this person?" People change and hopefully grow. People seek and hopefully find.
The best you can do is to accept the person for who they are at the time you are engaged with them, knowing that at any given moment you may be faced with a stranger.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Happiness is Overrated
The question, "Why when you see married people, do one of the partners look unhappy?"
I was outraged. It is so amazing to me how much people harp on the most fleeting emotion we have, happiness. Nothing is stagnate. Life is fluidity, change, movement. We insist on being happy all the time like it is really possible.
Most of us are not happy with ourselves, it is no wonder why we can't find it with another. To assume you can tell whether a couple is married, or happy is ridiculous. My answer to the question, was with the question, "What does happiness look like?" I went on to add "don't look to others for happiness, it is within. Happiness is overrated."
My happiness does not depend on other people. I used to be like other folk, thinking others could make me happy, but as I became more enlightened and self-aware, I recognized I am in control of all my emotions and thus responsible for all of them. If I allow someone to interfere with my happiness, that is on me and me alone. People are not responsible for how you monitor your emotions. If you let someone take you through changes, it is on you.
We need to wake up and accept we all have the capability of making, creating, and developing the lives we desire. What other people think, how they feel, what they say, should not effect you to the point where you lose you, or feel bad about you. I'm not saying you can't be hurt by others, what I am saying is even if we are hurt by others, it is up to us to regulate our hurt feelings and emotions. We cannot resort to blame to justify being unhappy with the lives we have created.
Happiness is overrated and almost non-existent for many. I'd much rather be content and have peace of mind than to be in a constant state of happiness. As a matter of fact, I'd much rather just deal with things as they come instead of looking for happiness in all my encounters, especially with loved ones. It just rarely happens. People trample on your happiness searching for their own happiness. It is rare we meet and marry someone who shares the same things that make each happy.
The best we can do is leave people alone when we see they are happy. Or we can find out what does make them happy and try to add to it, but we cannot control whether or not someone else is happy.
I was outraged. It is so amazing to me how much people harp on the most fleeting emotion we have, happiness. Nothing is stagnate. Life is fluidity, change, movement. We insist on being happy all the time like it is really possible.
Most of us are not happy with ourselves, it is no wonder why we can't find it with another. To assume you can tell whether a couple is married, or happy is ridiculous. My answer to the question, was with the question, "What does happiness look like?" I went on to add "don't look to others for happiness, it is within. Happiness is overrated."
My happiness does not depend on other people. I used to be like other folk, thinking others could make me happy, but as I became more enlightened and self-aware, I recognized I am in control of all my emotions and thus responsible for all of them. If I allow someone to interfere with my happiness, that is on me and me alone. People are not responsible for how you monitor your emotions. If you let someone take you through changes, it is on you.
We need to wake up and accept we all have the capability of making, creating, and developing the lives we desire. What other people think, how they feel, what they say, should not effect you to the point where you lose you, or feel bad about you. I'm not saying you can't be hurt by others, what I am saying is even if we are hurt by others, it is up to us to regulate our hurt feelings and emotions. We cannot resort to blame to justify being unhappy with the lives we have created.
Happiness is overrated and almost non-existent for many. I'd much rather be content and have peace of mind than to be in a constant state of happiness. As a matter of fact, I'd much rather just deal with things as they come instead of looking for happiness in all my encounters, especially with loved ones. It just rarely happens. People trample on your happiness searching for their own happiness. It is rare we meet and marry someone who shares the same things that make each happy.
The best we can do is leave people alone when we see they are happy. Or we can find out what does make them happy and try to add to it, but we cannot control whether or not someone else is happy.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
It Is What It Is
We so often want to believe we know others when in fact, you never really know anyone. You must remember we all have secrets. We are all good at hiding things.
People tell you about them. They let you know by what they do, more than by what they say. If you want to know a person, listen to them. Stop putting your ideas on them. Stop expecting them to be like you, or want you you want. Let people be them and they will be who you want them to be, if they want to. But they most definitely won't be who you tell them they are.
It is what it is.
People tell you about them. They let you know by what they do, more than by what they say. If you want to know a person, listen to them. Stop putting your ideas on them. Stop expecting them to be like you, or want you you want. Let people be them and they will be who you want them to be, if they want to. But they most definitely won't be who you tell them they are.
It is what it is.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Belief
Many people don't understand that just because they believe something it doesn't make it real. It may be real to you, but mean nothing to others. Belief does not mean truth.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Making Changes
One of the hardest realities for most people to accept is the ever changing, ever evolving motion of life. We consistently are looking for stability and comfort when in actuality you can only find those things once you accept the only consistent thing about life is it is inconsistentency.
Even though I understand this on many levels, my humanism gets in the way. I find myself desiring and craving. Wanting things I know I don't need. Needing things I know I don't want. I'm giving in. Everything must change.
Even though I understand this on many levels, my humanism gets in the way. I find myself desiring and craving. Wanting things I know I don't need. Needing things I know I don't want. I'm giving in. Everything must change.
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