Tuesday, March 2, 2010

They Don't Know

People get it wrong sometimes when they see love in action. Sometimes the person demonstrating the love looks like a fool for doing what they are doing, when in reality you can never really be a fool, if you are truly doing it for love.

We are afraid to love. We have become too self-conscious, too self-seeking and too unwilling to forgive the transgressions that come our way throughout our lives. When we see others, (like myself) who are willing to take a risk with their lives for the sake of unconditional love, we tend to say to ourselves, "I wouldn't. I couldn't, and they shouldn't."
Who are we to judge anyone? As a matter of fact, judging others should be the last thing on our list, but most often it is number one with a bullet.

I remember when the Long Island Lolita's boyfriend, Joey B. had her shoot his wife so he could get out of the marriage. As sick as it is, part of the reason he did it was he didn't believe in divorce and neither did his wife. He knew how strong her conviction was and he knew that only death could separate them. This was proven to be true when even after she found out her husband was behind the shooting, his wife forgave him and wanted to resume the marriage.

The country was outraged. They couldn't believe this woman would survive such a brutal shooting, (she was shot in the face) let alone, stay with the man who orchestrated her shooting. She stayed because she did not believe in divorce, she loved her husband, and unlike her husband, she was relatively pleased with the marriage arrangement. Silly man, he could have had all the affairs he wanted and she probably wouldn't have made much of a fuss. It was his self-seeking and taking her for granted that allowed him to do what he did.

Although they tried, they were unable to stay married and divorced. They both remarried and went on with their lives. For me, I took from this that if two people want it, their marriage can survive anything. What other people think doesn't mean a thing. Not even a little, because they are not the ones who have to deal with the day-to-day.

We have to live our own lives, no matter the cost especially when it comes to creating our own families. It would be wonderful if we could experience more balance in our lives, but it won't happen until we become more balanced ourselves. If allowed, marriage can bring two people to a point of understanding and agreeableness that will allow each party to feel alive and loved in the unit.

What usually happens is people can't come to an agreement or agree to disagree. One or both parties want their way and the other is unwilling to give it. Why can't we all just get along?

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