Acceptance

Sometimes it is hard to think about how much effort I have put into various people and activities throughout my lifetime. Next to losing weight, making an effort to save my marriage has been the hardest.



Even though I'm one of those people who believe, "If that don't do, try something new," I have given up on trying to find a husband in the man I married. He is relieved. Now that everything is out in the open, he doesn't have to try to be something he will never be and that is a man of honor and respect. These virtues were lost on him long before I met and married him. It has taken me a long time to understand you cannot really motivate someone, or help them if they don't have the capacity to recognize they need these things.



My husband is scrambling in many also. He is not crazy, so he knows he has lost a "good thing," when he lost his wife. The real sad part about it all is I ain't going nowhere. Even though I know for a fact God has released me from this marriage, I'm staying because I want to. I want "us" to rear our daughter and that is what we are going to do.



She appeared in her first stage play last week. Her dad and I were in the audience just beaming. She did a marvelous job. My husband kept saying, "We are such bad parents. We don't have a video camera." I never said a word. I don't believe whether you have "certain things" or not makes or breaks you as a parent. She got what was important to her; her parents being there.



I went out to congratulate her after her great performance and could barely reach her for the crowd of kids hanging literally on her and kissing her and hugging her and stating, "We love you."



I went back to my husband and told him, "I don't know what you're talking about. These kids love our daughter. That is the best proof we are excellent parents."



Our kids are loved wherever they go because they know how to love. A parent can't ask for more than that. They really can't.



As long as I continue to see positive changes and growth in my daughter, I'll stay in the marriage. It's not just about me. It really isn't and I am glad I am mature enough to recognize it.