Because of him, I have learned to love on a level I may not have with any other man. He was hard to love, but I did it. I learned to love him in the way he needed and it was because of him. He has stretched me beyond what I thought I could do in a relationship.
I'm not easily swayed. I don't open up, or let my guard down. Somehow, he was able to penetrate all that and drew me in.
Now, that he is so sick. It amazes that I recognize how much I have truly let go of our past. He is the same man that has hit me, cheated on me, lied to me, abandoned me, ignored and be abusive and dismissive in general to me. Yet, I have truly forgiven him for all that and am looking forward to better days.
I still believe and feel strongly that as long as he is alive, he can turn things around. He can be redeemed, if only he will repent.
Because of him, I know what it feels like to be adored and wanted. I know what making love really is and I know how it feels to have a man desire me. Because of him, I've known the difference between those who where for me, and those who were just with me. He has been there and still is.
Because of him, I am the woman I want to be. Because of him, I have had to let go of a lot of misconceptions about men in general. I have had to learn to let a man be a man, because of him. Because of him, I'm freer than I would have been had I not had him in my life.
Because of him, I have learned to love and be loved.