Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Wouldn't Change a Thing

My relationship with my husband has been a huge disappointment. The numbness I feel is almost unbearable at times. Knowing I will never get what I've needed from him has caused me to recognize I have never been loved by a man.

My father didn't love me, my brother didn't love me, and my son doesn't show me love, and my husband doesn't love me. I may live my whole life and never know how it feels to experience love from the male species.

With all that, I wouldn't change a thing. I have grown in every way imaginable and it has been because I have had to go into myself and deal with me, love me, protect me, and be there for me. Not having what I need has made me more determined to meet my own and I have learned to do that.

Maybe if I had had the love I think I deserve, I wouldn't have learned to love myself. Either way, I wouldn't change a thing.

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