Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Clarification

I feel the need to clarify some of my terms. Below is the definition of marriage and its derivatives. Part of the problem in many cases where an argument ensues, is people are using the same words, but meaning different things.

Look at how simple the definition for marriage is, then think about what you think about when you hear the word. Be honest, it was probably not positive, especially if you are married. We expect everything from marriage, when at the most, all we should expect is to have a close union with our spouse, we should be marriageable, and able to agree on the terms of the marriage which are laid out in the vows.

I used the word God in the title of my series of books, Get Out of the Way! Claim God's Will for Your Marriage, because even in what is termed "legal ceremonies," God is mentioned, especially in America. Throughout the world, most marriage vows include some form of recognition of something greater than the legal aspect of the union through prayer, song, ritual, etc.

Yet, when the marriage seems to be failing, we tend to lean on our own understanding, or that of family and friends, and never quite seek the quiet it takes to get in tune with our Higher Power. Our marriages fail many times because we cannot learn to agree to disagree. We feel because we are married to a person they should be like us, or know what we want, or be everything to us. Read the definition again, and show me where you see any of those things listed.

You can't and you won't. Marriage gives us the opportunity to be better than we could, or would be alone. Marriage offers us the opportunity to learn to communicate, even if it is with only one person. Wouldn't you want that person to be the one you are married to?

Mar*riage - 1a. The legal union of a man and woman as husband and wife. b. Wedlock. 2. A wedding. 3. A close union.

Marriageable - Suitable for marriage, of marrying age. Marriablity, marriageableness.

Marry - 1. To join as spouses by exchanging vows. 2. To combine or blend agreeably.

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