I want to take care of him as I have always done, still after being separated over 9 months. Even though I am happy with my life, there is a great part of me that still wants to be a wife to him. In a way, I am sort of proud of myself because I have some full circle and can see that I was serious about my marriage.
I continued to do what I believed I was mandated to do until the bitter end. The fact I was willing to be in his presence at all says a lot. He really did me dirty, but it was nothing God couldn't see me through, and he did. Yet, I yearn to be a wife to him.
Old habits really do die hard. 26 years is a long time to love and truly care for someone. You can't just go cold turkey without some type of withdrawal. I have not tried to force anything on myself. I have allowed myself to naturally moved pass my feelings for him.