Tuesday, May 22, 2012

When A Woman's Fed Up

R. Kelly has done a lot of wrong, but one thing he is truly right about is when a woman's fed up, there ain't nothing you can do about it.

I never wanted to get to this place. I did all within my power to stay in my marriage. Even though it was awful at times, I believed and obeyed and stayed. I didn't seek to use every little slight, mistake, etc., to get rid of my husband. Even though he broke our vows over and over, in every way. I stayed and prayed for God's will to be done within our marriage.

After seeing my estranged husband yesterday, and not feeling that familiar flutter in my heart, I knew I was completely free. One of the things we had going for us is that we both were still very physically attracted to each other. Whereas before yesterday, I would look at him and think, "Oh, I love him." Yesterday when I saw him and he approached me, I had to look twice. I saw him and knew it was him, but for some reason it didn't register the same way. I actually spoke and moved on my way. There really is nothing left to be said. Whatever we had is over.

I am so okay with it being over. I never worked at anything as hard as I did my marriage. To know how much effort I put into to the marriage, only to have it all snatched away was devastating when it first happened. Now, I'm grateful. I don't look back. There is no bitterness, only betterness.

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