Thursday, December 1, 2011

It's Complicated

I am a very complex person. I think a lot. God has tempered me greatly. Now, I can recognize when I'm being too complicated and make adjustments. I like using my mind, thinking and analyzing.

I have been enjoying being alone these past five months. Not having my husband around has given me the time I need to really think about what I want and how to get it. More and more I find myself glad that I made the right choice for me. I didn't even consider how the decision to leave him would effect my children. They are old enough to have their own relationship with him, whether he is in the home or not. And that is exactly what they are doing.

God is getting all the glory. I could not have left him on my own. I felt such an obligation to be "the one" to take care of him. Little did I realize how much he really wants to be away from me. I held him to too high a standard. He was not ready to deal with what I was really offering. He held on because the getting was good. I made life really easy for him.

As complicated as it is, it is really this simple. Self-love is the greatest love of him. I left my husband for me and we are having a great time.

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