Monday, October 24, 2011

Something New- 3

Well, I am surprising myself. I am really considering dating outside my race when the time comes. I really need to switch some things and I think the type of man I choose is a great start. Although I will always love and adore black men, they don't love me back. They expect too little and expect to give even less. A lot of this is culture based and the type of woman I am does not fit the stereotype many black men are looking to find.

Many men believe because I am overweight my standards are lower. Several have seemed shocked to find I have a healthy dose of self-respect and self-awareness. So many are used to dealing with women who are starving for attention and love. Although I had those issues, they were more than taken care of during my marriage. I have learned to give myself love and attention, therefore I am not starving for someone to do it.

I don't know what I'm doing. I just know I have to do something. I must find a way to be the woman I know I can be to a man and have him semi-appreciate it. I know white men see me as powerful and capable and are less likely to feel intimidated by me because they feel that way too. So many black men choose the dejected route to deal with life and it's struggles. Yes, things are harder for them, still today, but so many avenues have opened up also.

I need the man who can accept my independence and appreciate it, not feel threatened by it. I am ready for something new.

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