I know aging plays a great deal in how clear my thinking has become. time and unforeseen circumstances has taught me well. Knowing that I will most likely never be a wife to my husband again was hard getting used to. Now that I have accepted the truth about who we are to each other and why we are where we are now, I am thrilled about the beauty of it all.
Yes, it is a beautiful thing when any person accepts the truth about their lives. Completely devastated when it first happened, our separation has know become a blessing. I fought so hard to try to help my husband understand the importance of having a spiritual life. It was not my job. Just like I did, it is up to him to develop his own personal relationship with God.
He chose not to lean on God during this time he is in the valley. He spent so many years "doing his thang." He ate what he wanted, smoked what he wanted, drank what he wanted and as much as he wanted. Now, that he has to pay the piper, I have become the enemy. He focused all of his anger and hatred towards me. Somehow, the very person who thought she was saving his soul, was helping to steer his soul towards self-sabotage. He wouldn't have it any other way.
Things are so much more clearer simply because I have let go and let God.