I always knew when I made up my mind it was over between my husband and I that it would really be over and there would be no looking back. This is why I stayed until I couldn't stand anymore.
God guided me through the entire 26 years. We were never what others would consider compatible, it truly was a spiritual thing. God had something power He wanted to do in my life and I do believe no other person could have brought me to this place, as my estranged husband did.
He challenged everything I thought I knew about myself. He helped me grow into the woman I am today, but most importantly, he helped me learn how to love unconditionally, because that is the only way anyone could ever love him. He has to be the most difficult person to love I have ever met.
There is no way I would ever go back to him. As long as he is alive, I will respect him as the father of my children, but I will never be a wife or lover to him again. He does not get to feel my warmth and loving ways, ever again. He gave it all up for a fit of anger and irrational behavior. 26 years gone, because still, at 50 years old he has no self-control.
That is not my problem. I need to be with someone who is receptive to love and not afraid of it.