Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Why I Have No Regrets

My husband has had what they are calling a "seizure." He is currently out of town in a hospital. The best thing about it is he has family where he is and hopefully feels supported.

I am not going to his side. I have no regrets about his decision. I gave all I had to give and I refuse to allow myself to be abused by him in any way, at any time, for any reason. His sister said he was being, "defiant," so I know what that means, he is being mean and irrational. I have been there done that.

I no longer want to stand up to the devil. I've done it too long. The battle was never mine and now that I have completely released my husband to God's will, I feel no need to watch him die. That's just not my thing. I had to put a stop to the madness or he was going to destroy me. He could not forgive me as I had forgiven him. You can't live with a person who is unforgiving. Nothing you do is never enough.

I do not regret not going to his side. I called the chaplain and asked them to tell him I loved him and I wish him well and that I would send the kids if he wanted me to, but I am not coming. I will not allow this man to ever hurt me in any way again, ever. Plain and simple.

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