I seriously feel a cosmic shift in my way of thinking. It seems as though in the last six months something has happened to me. I no longer have that longing I experienced for so long. Something is truly satisfied in my soul and it feels good and scary at the same time.
I didn't realized how much that longing ruled my mind. That constant feeling of needing to do, to be, to go, to learn, to search, could have made me neurotic. Instead, over that last few years, I have been able to soothe and calm my urges, rid myself of the gluttony that was sure to kill me, accept my limitations, and build upon my strengths.
Yes, I do credit the marriage I am in with helping me grow and acknowledge the need to keep doing so. My marriage helped me use my mind in ways that has allowed me to blossom into the woman I have always wanted to be. I'm not perfect by any means, wouldn't know what perfect looked like if it slapped me in the face. I do know that being authentically me has more benefits than seeking perfection.
Being me allows me to reach others because they can tell I am presenting who I am and not who I want them to see. My mind is good and strong and capable. I love my mind.