Sunday, February 13, 2011

Kids Just Don't Understand

I remember clearly as a teenager telling my mother she should divorce my father. To me, they argued a lot and didn't seem to like each other much. One day I actually went to both of them and asked them both to get a divorce. My mother was making the bed and told me, "I made my bed. I am going to lie in it."

My father was less philosophical. He point blank said, "That ain't what you want. Your life would change drastically. You won't have what you have now." I left it alone.

Now that I am a parent and have a rocky marriage, my children have done the same to me. Although my husband has given me more reason to divorce, I have decided that it is not an option for me. So I look like a fool to my kids, because they just don't understand and won't until they either become more enlightened, or have families of their own.

My son is upset because his dad is not the man he thought he was. He is so hurt by this until he feels I should feel the same. I am sure at some point in time I did feel a lot of anger once I realized my husband would probably never be the type of man "I" think I would have wanted or needed. I recognize that I don't always know what is best for me and even though I thought I wanted something different, the man God has put in my life, turned out to be perfect for me.

My kids will never know how much their father and I share and that is as it should be. It really is not any of their business, yet somehow they feel it is. They feel I should make a choice between them and him, when I choose my family. Kids just don't understand.

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