Even though I am a martyr for marriage, I have given up on my own in many ways. Things that would have made a difference 10 years ago, just doesn't seem as important, or just really doesn't matter to me anymore.
I have come to accept there are certain things my husband just will never get and thus much of the thrill of being in a relationship is gone for me. I no longer try to get him to talk to me. I no longer feel going to a counselor will matter. I just don't want to work anymore.
He can tell and now he's making efforts he never made before. I hate when I have to tell him it doesn't matter to me anymore what he does or does not get or do. I am over it. I am ready to have a better life.
It would have been nice to have had a better marriage, but I didn't. It is as good as it is going to get and that is a lot better than I thought it would be. I'll take what I have and do the best with it.