Tuesday, April 5, 2011
It is my desire to blog about the day-to-day interactions, my thoughts about the past, and the glory of my long-term marriage. I have been married 21 years. My marriage forced to me take a real look at myself. I found myself consistently thinking my husband was not good enough for me. I was frequently feeling disappointment about where he is in his life. I truly believed, for a long time, that he was a reflection of something very wrong with me. I began to pay more attention to myself and what I was bringing to the relationship that contributed to a lot of the discourse. As I traveled on that journey of self-discovery, I noticed I began to feel less and less anxious and negative towards my husband. When I really looked at how ugly I could be. He didn't seem so bad. I began to be grateful he had been able to still desire to be with me, even though I could be really mean and cruel at times. It is my agenda to get individuals who are married to stop focusing so much on what their spouse is or is not. We need to learn to let go and let God guide that persons life, just as we should do for our own. My agenda included a book series title Get Out of the Way! Claim God's Will for Your Marriage, and hopefully a radio or TV show in the future that is just for married folk. We need to elevate marriage back to the status of importance it once held. There is a survey out done with black men and women, 46% of them said they thought marriage was obsolete. The 54% who value marriage are the ones that matter. We need to work with them to help them cultivate the type of marriages they can be proud of. No one could have ever told me I would become a self-appointed Martyr for Marriage. It is a hard role. Lots of folk want to be married, but obviously they don't want to do what it takes to stay married.