Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Chronically Ill-5

He did go, but he did not have the procedure. I had to really let go and let God because it was very upsetting to me to see how unwilling he was to save his own life. They sent him home that day and told him they would contact later. They got a hold of him yesterday and even set up an appointment which he literally begged out loud not to happen. Even though he went, there is a part of him that is so fearful that keeps entertaining not taking dialysis, which will translate into death for sure. I have become silent and have very little to add when he asks me what I think. I just don't want to make matters any worse. It is more than obvious we have different views on personal health care. I am blessed to have learned some things in my 30's, that are benefiting me now when I truly need it the most. He is not the only person in my life unwilling to live a healthy lifestyle and do what is needed to keep themselves alive. I see self-hate in almost every face I look in and it is tragic. He tried to be surprised when I said, "And when I pray for you." He stopped me with, "You pray for me?" "Of course I pray for you." I went on with what I was saying. There was no point into going off into the prayer thing. he knows. We'll he is supposed to have the surgery on Thursday. Stay tuned.

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