No matter what you do as a parent your children will find something wrong with you. I'm going through it right now because my children feel they have the right to tell me who I should be married to.
Even they can't complain about the mother I've been to them, but they still feel I am putting their father before them because I have chosen to keep my family together. I know when they get older they will understand, but it sure is not much comfort right now.
My son has it the worse because he is comparing himself to his dad and he feels I can do better. No one can do better than having someone in their life who gets them. Someone who allows them to be who they are and are supportive of their efforts to express themselves. This is what they do not understand about my relationship with my husband. We both have found the person who loves us for who we are. That matters to me more than anything.
No, their father has not been a good husband to me. And now that he is sick, he probably will only get to be better a short while, but I want that. I want whatever he can give that is better. He is putting forth the effort, which they won't see because it is between us.
All I know is I've done my job as a parent and I'm not allowing anyone to tell me who to love.