Saturday, January 22, 2011

I Am Not Perfect

I am by no means perfect. As a matter of fact, I am sort of relishing in being bad. I have always wanted to be the good girl, the one who made the right choices and did the right thing, for the sake of doing the right thing. I am ready to step outside of my comfort zone and do what I need to do for me.

I'm working on being the best me, but I won't lie and play like I am not capable of doing something I clearly should not be doing. I am also not going to lie it is not a conscious decision, because it is. The consequences are high and could really shake up my life, still I am ready to take the chance.

I am ready to take a chance. I have always been a risk taker when it comes to seeing how far I can stretch my life. It is my life and I have the right to do with it what I may. At 49, I just don't want to play it safe. I plan to have a great last half of life.

I have been the mother and wife I wanted to be. I am doing what I should do for this last child and I am making sure I am taking care of my husband in his time of need. I refuse to allow myself to be stressed out or to get to the point where I am not focusing on myself. It is important I continue to respect my needs and desires. I must remain true to myself.

No, I'm not perfect and I don't want to be. I am in the flesh for a reason. Yes, I aspire to higher consciousness, but I do find pleasure in certain things of the flesh, as well I should.

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