Wednesday, July 27, 2011

The Perfect Wife

I wasn't always the perfect wife. I learned how to be the hard way. I was very verbally abusive to my husband for half of our marriage. It would mainly happen if he would disappointment me, disagree with me, or mistreat me. Although I felt justified in being angry at some of the situations and circumstances he found himself in, I could have been more loving in my approach, especially since I do love and care about him.

I have various reasons as to why I was that way. Most of the reason has to do with the lack of control I had over my emotions. My role models for handling conflict were conflictual, so I didn't have a clear understanding of how to deal with uncomfortable, hurtful, or even unexpected situations.

Back in 2004 when I discovered my husband was having an affair, when he asked me if I was going to leave him, my mouth wanted to say yes, but God put it on my heart to say no. When I said no, that began me on a journey of self-awareness so deep it shook my very soul. It was at that moment I began to notice a shift in awareness, understanding and I discovered I lacked compassion for my husband.

I began on my journey of becoming the perfect wife.

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