Monday, July 11, 2011

Well Done!

Well done! That's what I do believe God will say to me at the end of my days. Over the last seven years I have spent day and night doing my best to be pleasing to God. When I filed for divorce back in 2004, I was ready to walk away. God had other plans and I heeded His will.

Even though I had expected my efforts to be met with more appreciation, it is knowing that I followed the path God choose for me that is most rewarding. My marriage went down for the third time last week, and did not survive. I did, he did, but it didn't.

The greatest feeling is that of relief. When I thought I was done before, there was always an ache, a longing that tugged at me letting me know it wasn't over. This time, my head is clear. My heart is light and I feel better than I could have ever dreamed of. I know I did what I was supposed to do in my marriage. I showed my husband what resilience, patience, honesty, loyalty, steadfastness, diligence, perseverance, and love of God looks like.

I modeled for him what it means to be a friend, a companion, and a wife. I gave him every opportunity to be the man he promised me he would be. I forgave, said I was sorry, and showed my true feelings. Now, that it is over, I know I've done what I was meant to do.

What I've learned and gotten out of my marriage is immeasurable. I am so much stronger, so much better, and believe in miracles so much deeper. I harbor no ill feelings towards my husband. He only did what he knows best to do and that is to sabotage anything that may actually be good for him. He wasn't ready 26 years ago and he still isn't. I accept it fully and walk away gladly, knowing I will be the better for it.

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