Friday, December 24, 2010

I Do

I do think highly of myself. Yes, I really do. I know what I have had to overcome and is still overcoming everyday. I also know folk who haven't experienced I 1/3 of what I have and have killed themselves. I am beyond a survivor, I have learned how to live.

I have wanted to be a writer since I was 10 years old. I remember telling my classmates my plans back in the fourth grade. Of course they all told me I wouldn't be going anywhere and most definitely would not be famous. When I went to high school, I found I was multi-talented. A triple threat and some if I may say so myself. I sing, dance, act, write, perform stand-up, cook, publish. I have lived the life I knew I would. Even in high school, I didn't view having money as being successful. I knew I would be successful if I got the chance to live they way I always dreamed of and that is being at peace in every situation.

I knew back then that doing what I loved was all that really mattered. I knew of people who were miserable on their jobs, but felt trapped, or were uneducated, or really just had no desire to go beyond what felt comfortable at the time. My ambitious spirit never lets me rest and I do feel it has been a great asset, but I have also recognized how it could take me down, if I let it.

I do feel good about the fact I learned that maintaining a balanced life is the best way to get the best out of life. I actually fill great about the fact I learned this in my thirties and was able to practice it to the point I could see the benefits in my life. I do feel some pride over tackling the devil within and showing her up to be the liar she is. There was something deeply self-destructive inside of me. I purged her and yes, I do feel good about that.

Learning more about me has helped to save my marriage. I found I didn't care about a lot of things I once thought I did, so therefore there was no need to argue or have discord over stuff that doesn't matter. Of course this made me much easier to get along and live with. All these little things added up and now I can say without a doubt, I do have myself together.

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