I know I should be showing more signs of stress. I'm experiencing some pretty traumatic things, but I'll tell ya', I'm cool. I'm in a place of calm and understanding. Although I don't want my husband to die, I accept there is a great possibility he will. I do believe if it does happen it is God's will.
Even though my husband is growing everyday, he has been a pretty lousey person for a long time. He served the enemy well and we all know there is a price to pay for not living by God's law. Still, I care for and love him dearly, as he is the love of my life and the father of my children. That is enough for me.
Some people judge me by what "they wouldn't put up with." I know all too well that many of those folk are putting up with far worse than I am, because of their perception of their situation. I am not "putting up,"with anything. I am living my life day-by-day, being grateful for every minute and patiently awaiting God to reveal His will.
Trying to live within God's will is not easy, but always worth it. When you stop thinking you are in control and have all the answers you will be more open to God's will. I know I had to get out to of the way and claim God's will for my life and now I'm okay.