Monday, May 2, 2011

Not Kidding Myself

I'm not kidding myself about my situation. I know there is a great possibility my husband could return to his old ways once he is feeling better. There is always a plan.

Until I have to think it about, I won't. I plan to enjoy the time we have now, because that's all we get. We don't get more than one day at a time and I plan to live each day to the fullest.

I do believe some of the changes he has made, and the insights he has had will be permanent. He is praying more and that's the most important thing. When he first got sick, the devil still had such a tight grip on him, until he would become angry if I even mentioned prayer. Now, I hear him praying randomly and praising God for allowing him to feel better than he did the day before.

I asked him if he recognized how much time we spend together; how we are always with each other? He said, "I was just thinking about that the other day." I know he's surprised at how well we get along. He's surprised because he can't take credit for it. If I would, we'd still disagree about almost everything, but I have figured out what caused most of our arguments and I avoid going to those places and it works.

No, I"m not kidding myself. I know a leopard does not change its stripes, but it can be tamed, with time.

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