Monday, August 15, 2011


It has only been a month and half since everything jumped off. I haven't struggled at all with my decision. I have been enjoying my time apart. It is what was needed. He needs to be alone. It is more than obvious he has calmed down, he trying to get next to me.

I am not considering reconcilation. It is not what I want at this time. Maybe in a few years, if then. I need to see real change. I'm not looking for flowery words, or gifts, or calls, or sweet whispers.

I want someone who respects my worth. Not someone who just wants to use me for what they can get. Or try to live off my accomplishments and good deeds. I want a man who knows he is meant to act like one, not forever stay a little boy constantly searching for his next mommy.

No, reconciliation is not possible at this time, nor anytime in the future. I'm free and enjoying every minute of it. I saw this day. The when I fully accept I need a long break from my husband. I need not to have to take care of him. I need him to take care of him and me. It is my time to be taken care of and he can't do it. He doesn't want to do it. He only wants to get. He has no idea he could get some much more, if only he would give.

He is still only thinking of himself. He's uncomfortable trying to meet someone else and thinks I should care. Maybe he really does need to see what is really available to him. I know I do.

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