I have excellent boundaries and I have come to realize people are very intimidated by me because of it. I recently talked to someone I only met a few weeks ago. It was a very brief meeting, no words exchanged at all.
Last night I was talking this person at length and she ended the conversation by stating, "I am so glad I talked to you. I thought you were mean."
I have heard it a million times, but honest to God, I responded like it was the first time because I literally had said nothing at all to this person. When I asked her why she thought that, she said other co-workers had said some things. She had bought into whatever was being said without checking for herself. It was only happenstance that we had the conversation.
I told her my theory about people who perceive me as "mean." Men say it alot and I tell them immediately, "I'm not your momma." I told her that I believe people who say that about me are people who are looking at me through a child's eye. Most adults recognize I am a confident, strong, capable woman and I carry myself as such. I'm not a big hugger, or a person to pour syrup all over others to be accepted.
I have great boundaries and I refuse to change a thing. I'm glad some people view me that way. Those are the ones I don't have to be bothered with. Yet, it is sort of disheartening to go have people label me negatively just based on looks. I don't have to say a word. I am very serious, but that does not mean, I am mean. As a matter of fact, I really don't have the capacity to be "really mean." It is not in my makeup.
I ain't trying to win no popularity contest and it is a good thing, because obviously, I won't.