Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Space

Both my husband and myself are loners. Neither one of us especially need the company of another on a consistent basis. Before I met him, I can truly say I was on my way to becoming a hermit. I very seldom did anything. Meeting him changed that.

What we gave each other turns out to be the best gift either one of us could have ever given. Space! I've never truly been the clingy type. In the beginning of our relationship, I wanted him around more because it (romance) was all so new to me. After about three years of dating, I began to have a more realistic look at the relationship. I figured out I wanted to be with him. I was unwilling to do so unmarried.

We married after living together for 3 1/2 years. Looking back we both knew we would be on this journey for a long time and we have. Now that are separated, we both have taken to having our own space like a duck does to water. When it first happened, because of the way things went down, I was so glad he was gone. After about a month, I began dealing with the aftershock and I began to miss the fact I had no one to share my time and love with. I had lost my companion.

Now, almost three months later, I'm thankful to God for everything that has happened. It has allowed me to look at my marriage in a new way. We don't have to live together. We still have bills we share and children and we handle what needs to be handled. What we don't have is the face time, which doesn't bother me at all. His spirit is too jacked up and he is unwilling to change, so I am unwilling to live with him unchanged.

I am glad to have my space. I have even more room to dance.

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