Even though their father and I are not together, he is still very active in their lives. He wants them around and does what he can for them. They know they are loved.
One of the many reasons I have stayed in the relationship is because he genuinely cares about his children and has always been willing to really be involved in their lives. My heart if grateful for this.
My youngest doesn't need as much as he would like to give and that bothers him. He still wants her to be a little girl and she is becoming a young woman. I encourage her to accept his love on whatever level he is able to give it. No matter what he is her father.
Because our parenting styles are so different, the kids prefer my methods more because I am not an authoritarian. I talk to them and try to get them to do what is in their best interest. Whereas, my husband tends to be dictatorial and obsessive. They say he drives them crazy. For me the most important words are "drives them." There is value in his method because he is actually trying to get them to do what they need to do.
As long as they know they are loved, I am happy.