Friday, September 30, 2011

What We Don't Do To Keep Marriage Alive

The one thing we don't do that could possibly save our marriage is be kind to our spouse. You know I'm right. Kindness is probably they last thing you think to show. I know he/she doesn't do what you want them to do. Have you ever thought of giving them what they want? It really is true that the quickest way to throw a spouse off is to give them exactly what they ask for. Unfortunately this is lost on most of us.

It is this way because we are all too self-seeking. We are continuously monitoring whether our needs are being met. Rarely do we monitor whether we are meeting the needs of the our mate. If we do, it is only to keep score and not in a productive manner.

When we marry, we are committing to being the person the other person can lean on. We are saying we want to be the one to provide them with the safety and companionship they desire. Yet, we often neglect to find out what our partner's dreams and aspirations are because we are too busy pushing our own agendas.

I have never been the type of woman to expect a lot, as much as I expected to give a lot. I have held to a belief my needs would be met, especially if I was willing to meet the needs of others. Earlier in my marriage I almost got caught up in expecting certain things from my husband, many of them he was unable to give, but I discover a lot of my expectations could be and would be met by others and in other ways. By knowing myself and understanding my true needs, I was able to learn to give without expectation and love anyway.

We do not keep love alive in our marriage when we can't be kind to our spouse. Married folk do have to try harder and it is as it should be. When we come together there is nothing we cannot conquer. Our self-seeking ways keep us from the love we deserve in our marriages.

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